Brace yourself: the mythical unicorn of coffee—decaf. Yep, it’s real. No caffeine, no chaos, just all the bold, roasty goodness you actually want in a cup. It’s basically a magician pulling flavor out of a hat: rich, smooth, and satisfying, minus the jitters or those questionable 2 a.m. life choices. It’s the responsible adult version of coffee—but don’t worry, it doesn’t actually taste like responsibility. Who knew self-control could be this delicious?